Idiot pedestrians

15 Mar

Note that it very clearly indicates that both pedestrians and cyclists are to keep left. And also, you need to pick up your dog's poop with your bare hand.

As promised, it’s now time for me to complain about idiot pedestrians.

From my past posts, you have probably figured out that I make heavy use of the MUTs (multi-user trails) around here. Most of the time, I go out on my bike, but I also go for walks and jogs, as well. Therefore, I am uniquely positioned to criticise both cyclists and pedestrians.

And Jesus! There are a lot of stupid people out there!

First of all, this is Australia and in this country, you keep to the left. This is true whether it is a road or a sidewalk or a MUT. You keep to the left. It doesn’t matter if you are on foot- the rule still applies to you.

To make this ultra clear, the city has very kindly put up signs and super obvious markings painted on the pavement every few hundred meters, just to remind you in case you have the memory span of a goldfish and forgot that the “keep left” rule still applies even after you’ve passed the last sign.

But this doesn’t stop pedestrians from walking on the right, down the middle, or several abreast so that no one can get around them. Every day, I encounter at least a few people who blatantly and stubbornly insist on walking against traffic, not caring in the least how many accidents they might cause.

I make it a point to shout rude things to these people to indicate to them that I think they are complete morons, but apparently, they are also deaf because they still don’t move over.

I really don’t know why they insist on walking on the wrong side and forcing everyone else either to run into them or run into oncoming traffic trying to go around them. Maybe they just think the trail was built just for them or they might just be stupid and can’t figure out what all those arrows on the pavement are supposed to mean.


Oh my God, these giant arrows on the pavement are so FREAKING OBVIOUS that I have NO IDEA what they could POSSIBLY mean!

I admit, I get really ticked off at people who do this sort of thing and I’m not at all ashamed to say that once when some idiot girl was walking the wrong way while texting, I dinged my bell repeatedly and then tried to go around her and I clipped her pretty hard on her wrist with my bike. I heard her say “ow” and I know she turned around and glared at me, but I don’t care. She totally deserved it and I’m totally proud of myself for getting at least one of them. Maybe she’ll learn her lesson! She should be thanking me for not riding right over the top of her, which I would have been well within my rights to do.

When I’m a pedestrian, I always behave courteously to others on the path. I move over for joggers and cyclists and I frequently check behind me to see if someone is coming. If I see a cyclist coming up behind me and I see one oncoming, I always step off the path to allow the one behind me to go around so that he doesn’t have to slam on his brakes waiting for the guy oncoming to pass before he can go around me. I certainly NEVER walk on the wrong side or take up the whole lane. I keep well to my side of the pavement and leave plenty of room for others. It’s not like I’m obese and actually need all that space.

That said, I am in no way negating my criticisms of cyclists in my previous post. As a pedestrian, it really irks me that cyclists whiz by me without warning, pushing me off onto the grass, as if they think I have no right to be there on foot. A lot of pedestrians (I doubt I’d go so far as to say the majority) are reasonably well behaved and there’s no reason to harass them. But the ones who willfully defy the rules or don’t pay attention to their surroundings deserve a broken bone or two, in my opinion.

3 Responses to “Idiot pedestrians”

  1. megalagom March 15, 2012 at 11:53 pm #

    Couldn’t have said it better. Even when walking on foot I get so annoyed by other pedistrians who are walking towards me straight on. I’m on the correct side of the path (The right side here) and YOU are not, so YOU are the one who needs to move. Instead you end up trying to get around each other and waste me time. Thanks, that was awkward. And it only gets worse when you through bikes in the mix. I have to admit I still haven’t gained that sense of “Theres a bike behind me” because I’m not accustomed to being around so many bikes, or bike paths – so I have messed up a few times but quickly jumped out of the way once I understood. These people just stand there and stare. I do not get it! Its the same rules as when driving- ya don’t see people driving their cars into incoming traffic!!

    • housewifedownunder March 16, 2012 at 10:37 am #

      On a shared path, there might be this sense that you need to walk against traffic so you can see what is coming at you, but that is stupid. The same applies to riding your bike the wrong way down the road. It decreases the stopping time for everyone else and it removes the option for the faster person to slow down and wait to pass. Instead they either have to come to a dead stop or pass when it may not be safe to do so. I think all people who are too stupid to figure out what side they are supposed to be on should be executed for their stupidity! It would improve the human gene pool, I think, and god knows we need it!

  2. togathernomoss March 19, 2012 at 6:47 pm #

    There was a Facebook group I was part of for years (when that was still cool) called “I Secretly Want to Punch Slow-Moving People in the Back of the Head” and I to this day wish I had the balls to actually do it.

    Suuuuuuuure, if it’s a big empty park with no-one for miles then I’d feel a little silly having to “keep left” when there was no-one around, but the minute you start adding pedestrians, cyclists and joggers together things get annoying. It’s just common courtesy. That said, something I’m guilty of myself at times is “podestrianism,” a phenomenon whereby everyone is jacked-in to their iPods and can’t hear anything. Such as angry expat cyclists in Australia yelling at them. Very bad.

    I try and compensate by walking fast…

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