Lost again

8 Mar

I did it again. I got overconfident in my knowledge of local roads and got lost again.

Is this normal in Melbourne or did a Texan take a wrong turn somewhere?

The day started off okay. I made my way almost all the way to my destination without any trouble. I even saw a random cowboy on a horse along the way.

The trouble started when I decided I’d had enough of my GPS giving me stupid directions and decided to take matters into my own hand. Instead of following her instructions to make a right hand turn where it was clearly inconvenient to do so, I made an executive decision to continue straight, as I felt certain there would be parking further ahead and I could just walk.

Whoops. Intersection after intersection had no right turn lights flashing AND no left turn lights flashing. Well, how the heck do they expect me to turn around?! So I looked about and not seeing any police, I flagrantly violated the no left turn sign.

I found a cool nut shop in the market. I’ve never seen so many nuts in one place before!

I never did make it back to where I was trying to go, but I did find a parking lot which seemed suitable. I paid up the meter for four hours and went and met a friend for lunch and then did some shopping.

There were so many interesting shops that I spent the whole afternoon wandering around. At 4:45, I realised that my parking ticket expired in ten minutes and that I better hurry and get back to the car and head home. Except I couldn’t remember where I parked.

For twenty minutes I wandered up and down various streets, trying to find something that looked familiar. All I could remember was that I parked near a blue sign.

I eventually asked somebody if they could point me the right way and said I didn’t know what street I was parked near or anything. I told them all I could remember was a blue sign. The guy said, “Was this blue sign a parking sign?” (Parking areas are marked with blue signs that have a white P on them.) I didn’t know if he was making fun of me or asking a legitimate question. The sad thing was that I honestly couldn’t remember if it was a parking sign or a sign on a store or what. I’m only 27 and I seem to have completely lost my mind.

Not exactly the landmark I was looking for… Seriously, do they really need to promote that on the street? There are children around!

When I finally found the parking lot, to my horror I saw a parking lot shark going around checking people’s tickets and issuing fines for the expired one and he was only a few cars down from mine! I raced over to the car, jumped in, and snatched the ticket out of the window. In my haste to back out, I forgot to release the parking brake, so the car made a horrible screeching sound which totally attracted the shark’s attention. But at least I got out of there without a ticket. Phew!

So I started my journey home, thinking the worst was past. That is, until I came upon a street that I knew was well past the one I should have turned off onto. Ummm… uh oh. So I set my GPS to help get me un-lost, except she is absolutely useless in rush hour because she always dictates that I make right turns when everybody knows right turns aren’t allowed. So I disobeyed her repeatedly by making left turns instead, desperately looking for a street name I knew and trying not to cause an accident. She punished me by taking me the long and un-scenic route home.

You know, getting lost really takes the fun out of exploring. Like the other day, I decided I’d ride my bike into the city and do some exploring and it was really fun until I ended up somewhere I didn’t want to be and couldn’t remember the way back. From now on, I might have to venture out only with a certified tour guide, as I obviously can’t be trusted to follow or remember directions.

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