It’s the same thing at every social event: Someone offers me an alcoholic beverage; I politely decline.
Instead of just leaving it be, as they would if I had declined an hors d’oeuvre, the person always feels compelled to tell me first that I “have” to drink and then, after another refusal, ask me, “Why don’t you drink?”
Sometimes I’ll lie and tell people that I’m a pregnant Mormon. Other times I’ll let them just assume that I’m the designated driver. If I’m feeling forthcoming and polite, I might say it’s because I don’t care for the taste. If I’m feeling forthcoming and rude, I might stick my nose in the air and say it’s because I don’t want to end up like the rest of these falling-down-drunk sots and consider myself too superior to engage in such a puerile activity.
It’s quite bizarre, this urge drinkers have to know why a non-drinker doesn’t drink. If someone offers you water and you decline, they don’t demand to know why. They don’t get all up in your face and want to know why you’re not thirsty or if you think you are better than people who are drinking water. If you tell people you don’t like the taste of coffee, people will shrug and chalk it up to personal preference, but if you tell people you don’t like the taste of alcohol, they can’t comprehend and you seem totally alien to them.
Australia has what I consider to be a toxic drinking culture, much like the UK does. Other cultures have traditions of heavy drinking as well, but in Germany, for example, getting drunk is traditionally seen as an embarrassing thing. Drinking too much and not being able to hold your liquor is not something to brag about the next day. They are heavy drinkers there, but they tend to be responsible drinkers (in comparison).
In Australia, the UK, and to a somewhat lesser extent, America, getting drunk is the whole purpose of drinking and the night isn’t over until you’ve prayed to the porcelain god a few times (or passed out in it). Here, binge drinking is a major problem. Australians love to drink and they love to drink to excess. Apparently, you’re un-Australian if you don’t drink. Getting drunk is considered a rite of passage, parents simply accept that their teenage children will go out drinking, and there is no shame in falling down in the street and puking all over yourself and then telling everyone about how wasted you got the next day. That’s considered a “good time”, apparently.
This is largely why I stay in on Saturday nights instead of going for my customary evening walk. It’s impossible to go out and enjoy oneself without being surrounded by inebriates. And I don’t find drunk people particularly amusing. Obnoxious is more the word that comes to mind, and that’s being polite.
In truth, I don’t have any objection to the consumption of alcohol in principle. I have an objection to unhealthy relationships with alcohol, which seem to be prevalent here. There’s a big difference between drinking to enjoy it and drinking to get wasted. But I’m not opposed to alcohol on any moral or religious grounds or anything like that and I’m happy to spend time with drinking (not drunken) friends, so long as they don’t spend the whole evening making an issue about what I’m consuming or not consuming.
So why don’t I drink?
The truth is, I’m not pregnant, I’m not a Mormon, and I most certainly am not a recovering alcoholic (but thank you very much for asking).
Mostly, the smell puts me off. I literally find it nauseating. I can’t imagine putting it right under my nose and then tasting it, too. I’ve never had an urge even to try the stuff. I don’t drink alcohol for the same reason I don’t eat fish. It makes me want to barf.
But I’m also distrustful of anything that impairs my judgment or mobility. When you drink, you put yourself in a more vulnerable position than when you are sober. That’s a fact. The more you drink, the more vulnerable you are. This is how girls end up getting taken advantage of. I like being fully aware of my surroundings and having full motor and mental function. You never know when you might need it.
I could go on and on about women who go out to pubs dressed like prostitutes and drink themselves senseless and are then surprised that they get sexually assaulted by a man who has also been drinking and has lowered inhibitions. But I’ll save that for another post some other time. Point is, a drink or two with dinner is one thing, but binge drinking, especially with strangers, is beyond stupid on so many levels.
I know people who drink who claim it is impossible to have a good time without alcohol. I don’t personally need a substance to help me have a good time. If you do… well, that’s your crutch and I won’t take it away from you, though I might look down on you for it. If you need alcohol to loosen your inhibitions so that you can be a “fun” person, then you are insecure and probably need a psychiatrist and a life coach more than you need a drink.
Then there are people who drink because they genuinely enjoy the taste. My husband, being Bavarian, is a person who appreciates a good beer, though he drinks it only once or twice a year. I know a lot of people are wine connoisseurs and love going to wine tastings. I did have a friend who was such a connoisseur that if he found one he liked, he’d drink the whole bottle by himself in one sitting and pass out, but he did it in the privacy of his own home and wasn’t making a fool of himself in public.
I don’t have a problem with people who drink simply because they like a particular beverage, just like I don’t have a problem with people who think mushrooms are the best thing ever (fungus, gross!). Having previously been addicted to Mountain Dew, I can’t judge. I knew the stuff was terrible for me, but I still had a can of it once a day, every day because it tasted so darn good.
But you know what? I’m a judgy person. It’s just my way. And I look down on wasted morons and think nasty little thoughts about them. Tit for tat. I know that drinkers judge non-drinkers. But at least my judgments aren’t born of insecurity.
The great wizard Zeddicus z’ul Zorander once said, “The worse you are at thinking, the better you are at drinking.” I can’t help but agree. Going out and getting drunk is not only stupid, but it’s also one of the most uncreative ways to have fun. And there are mindless automatons who do this near every night and imagine they have something resembling a life. I suppose they do, but it’s not anything resembling what I think of when I think of having a life. I’ve always thought having a life involved more than just looking for your next good time.
I have plenty of legitimate reasons for not drinking, but what it ultimately boils down to is that I don’t want to be those people. I don’t like what I see when I look at them and I don’t want to emulate that behaviour.
I don’t want to be the girl who drunk dials her ex at 3am. I don’t want to be the person too hungover to function the next day. I don’t want to vomit on myself or put my face anywhere near a toilet. I don’t want to find myself tagged in unflattering or embarrassing photos on Facebook. I don’t want to be the girl who can’t remember what she did last night or the girl who gets date raped. I don’t want to be the person who has nothing more intelligent to say than, “Dude, I got soooo wasted last night…”
So to all the people I’ve ever encountered who seemed to take personal insult at the fact that I don’t drink, go bugger yourself. If you need other people to join you in drinking so as to validate your own choice to drink, then not only should you probably not be drinking, but you have bigger problems than my lack of participation.
Just in time for Australia Day
Ha, that’s what I was thinking! I’m sure I’ll be one of the few sober people in the country come Saturday evening. :-p
Good on you! I’m with you on that
. I’ve found Australian drinking culture a bit hard to put up with. I really enjoy drinking a small glass of wine – but wow – not a balloon shaped one that holds about half a bottle, with constant top ups. I like the slight loosening brought by the first glass, I’m definitely not a fan of the extreme loosening that comes with glass number six. And drinking too much gives me bad insomnia. That’s actually weird enough to be a good excuse – maybe you should try it: “I really love it, but my body can’t put up with it, even a drop – it’s terrible, I wish I could!”
I’ve been mocked as a tea-totalled a few times, but well, just put up with it. Let’s resist!!
I think you French people have a much different and healthier attitude about drinking. I used to just tell people I was alcohol intolerant and couldn’t drink even a drop just so they’d stop bothering me about it. Fortunately, it happens less often the older I get, but in my university days, it was a constant question and American uni students drink just as heavily as any Aussie, so I was the odd one out then, too.
Wow. I wish I could like this like a hundred times. If there’s one thing I hate about Australia, this is it. I drink from time to time, but I’ve never been drunk a day in my life and I don’t see the appeal of being so wasted, you get sick, pass out, are hungover the next day, and can’t remember what happened the previous night. I don’t want to be one of those people either. Naturally, the Aussies I know think I’m crazy and probably really boring.
The few times I venture out on Friday and Saturday evenings (it’s still a problem other days, but more easily avoided), the number of drunks out in the streets amazes me. Frankly, it’s disgusting. I live near a road that has a lot of pubs on it and I like to go walking along there (because there are a few gelato shops along the way- yum!), but when the drunks are out, you can’t go five feet without being accosted by one of them. You certainly can’t have a nice evening sitting outside at a cafe because the drunken louts will be shouting and cavorting all up and down the street. Oh, and peeing and vomiting on the sidewalk. That’s always a charming sight. And they all think they are just oh-so-cool because you know, nothing is cooler than lacking the good judgment to know when you’ve had enough to drink. *eye roll* It’s just as bad, if not worse, in London. I know there are Americans who like to drink too much, but you don’t see this kind of gratuitous public drunkenness outside of college towns, generally.
As you said sometimes drinking is more a problem of feeling insecure, I don’t think there’s the need to look down on these people, maybe some compassion should be worth it. I tell you that just because I used to look down on drunk people, but now that I have been myself drunk several times for “feeling insecure” reasons, I think I can understand and I’m more sad for myself and the other drunks ..:)
I guess my attitude is that if you are insecure, you should focus on why you are insecure and what you can do to change it rather than get drunk. I have a low tolerance for weakness and to me, getting drunk because you are insecure is a sign of weakness. Getting drunk doesn’t solve the problem. It’s just an easy way of putting a bandage on it temporarily. I might feel pity for those people, but I still look down on them. We are all insecure about things, but drinking to excess isn’t a healthy or smart way of dealing with those insecurities.
Any culture seems to want to promote getting drunk. I like to drink, but not to the point I cannot control what I am doing. I had a concussion that did that, and running around 24/7 for about 2 months was horrible. I cant see why people would want to do that.
Some cultures promote binge drinking more than others. It is a huge problem here. I don’t know why people do it either.
They’re amusing to watch until they hit the obnoxious stage. Ew.
Someone once said “If at every social event there has to be alcohol, something is wrong with that society.” I’ve never touched drink, and never want to touch it, and I am still a perfectly happy Australian and can manage to enjoy myself without being sick the next day.
I know several people who I would consider alcoholics, even though they would not probably consider themselves that. Every social event they have to have their drink, or once a day they must have at least one drink. Oh yes they only have one small glass a day, but they always need to have it in their own opinion and that is addiction.
I commend those who have made the decision to not drink, and sometimes it can take some strength in character, as it seems drinking is strongly knit into our society. An example is that often at meetings of clubs and societies, the guest speaker is given some wine as a gift of appreciation. However I once heard of someone who when asked to present the gift would refuse if it was alcohol. The reason was simple, you don’t know if the receive is trying to break a drinking habit. Do you give a drug addict more drugs?
Personally I find it a real shame that so many young Australians drink, and do not see a problem with it. However I do find it encouraging to see others who have refrained from drinking.
By now you can probably see some of my reasons for not drinking. My parents decided not to drink, and this has been a good example to me, but I’ve decided myself that I do not want to waste my life drinking “gone of grapes” which is how I see it. There are plenty of other ways to enjoy life which are more rewarding.
I’ve said a lot, but I would again commend those who refuse to drink – Good choice!
Well said. I agree that if there has to be a drink at every event, that’s not healthy. I also agree with you that if a person -needs- to have their one drink a day, that is an addiction. I used to -need- my one can of pop every day and I’d even drink it when I didn’t really want it, just because I had to have it. No one would deny that I had a caffeine addiction and it’s the same with alcohol. Any substance that you “need to have” is a substance you are probably addicted to.
I find the Australian culture of binge drinking to be very depressing. While I think Australia is a great place for young kids to grow up, I’m very concerned about raising teenagers and young adults here. There’s no way to shield them from it when it is so ingrained in the culture and literally everyone else is doing it. We’ve seriously discussed moving to Germany at some point when we have older kids, just to keep them away from the binge drinking of their peers. I know Germans like their alcohol, too, but they don’t binge drink. When I first heard of the Australian tradition of “schoolies”, I was horrified and couldn’t believe that parents were okay with sending their 18 year old children off on an unsupervised drinking vacation. Crazy!
Drinking in the US may only be rampant in college towns, but in Australia most universities are centred around major cities. Also, the drinking age is 3 years younger so rather than binge drinking in houses, they’re out in the bars, in the cities. I don’t know if it’s necessarily worse in Australia. When I first when to the US we were shocked at the drug use rather than the drinking.
I think the biggest problem in Australia is the binge drinking culture rather than drinking itself. You only need to drink 5 drinks in a single night to be considered a binge drinker and do serious damage to your body. That’s what’s scary.
People have been consuming alcohol for literally thousands of years. It can be a fantastic way to relax, be social and have a good time (and drop the judging… my biggest being a bitch issue). It sucks trashy people ruin your weekends. I’d hate them all as well!
But in the US, the drinking is largely limited to the universities, and not the surrounding community. Here, it is not limited to the universities, but has made its way into high schools and adult society. Additionally, in the US, some universities have earned themselves a label of being “party schools” and those are the schools where most of the heavy drinking goes on. I lived and went to uni in a capital city that was home to five or six schools and it was not a city where excess drinking was a problem because none of those schools were party schools. People don’t go out to pubs to binge drink; it stays largely on campus. So I think the drinking problem is much, much worse in Australia than the US. But you are right that the US does have a drug problem. If it goes on here, it’s not as out in the open as it is in America. For example, I’ve yet to hear about any meth lab busts here, though it’s a regular occurrence in most parts of America.
I’m not a big drinker but if I don’t feel like having one I don’t give any excuses, I just straight up and tell them I don’t want to drink. Case closed. I’ve never had a problem with people questioning this decision but I normally only drink with people I know who know me.
You shouldn’t ever have to give an excuse. I’m glad you’ve never had problems with people questioning your choice not to drink or pressuring you to have one. I don’t have that problem with people I know, since they all know me and know why I don’t drink, but I find that moving around a lot means always meeting new people and always having to explain myself over and over again to the people who won’t accept a “no thank you” for an answer.
When you go out to eat in Hong Kong, your host will be personally offended if you don’t drink and eat until you’re about to vomit. If you go to a restaurant in a group, everyone plays host and everyone absolutely insists that everyone else eat and drink to excess. Chinese people toast everything and if you don’t toast or you’re not drinking what they’re drinking, they will be personally offended.
Oh, dear! I would hate that! I can’t stand the feeling of being overly full. One thing I have liked about Australia is that the portion sizes are much smaller when you eat out, so I don’t go home feeling about to explode. It is interesting to see the differences in the cultural significance of food and drink around the world. And I’ve never seen a fat Chinese person, so I always imagined that eating and drinking to excess isn’t something they do.
You’ve pretty much just said everything I’ve ever thought or wanted to say about the Aussie drinking culture!! Thanks for getting that off my chest for me. LOL
Ha, you’re welcome!
Yeah buddy!
I’m from New Zealand (huge drinking culture here too) and I have never consumed alcohol, nor do I intend to do so.
I find it very hard to get people to understand why I don’t, and I’ve found myself in awkward situations where I can’t get home or away from that kind of thing.
I only know five other people who don’t drink, and they understand what happens when you decline a drink or screw your nose up when you see a drunk chick hobbling down the street on broken heels. I can’t embrace the whole culture and way of it, therefore I am labelled an outcast. But that’s what my five sober buddies for life are for!